Friday, December 15, 2006

I hate the mall

When I was in high school, the big thing to do on Saturdays was hang out at the mall all day. I don't know what I was thinking, because I'd rather be forced to listen to Michael Bolton for 8 hours than spend 8 hours at a mall. I guess I was young and foolish, and honestly, there wasn't that much to do around here at the time.

This time of year turns the mall into its own circle of Hell. I got into the Christmas spirit quite nicely the other day when I was wrapping Ken's presents and listening to some nice Christmas music, but nothing can get me out of the spirit faster than a trip to the mall. When I do have to go, maybe once or twice a year when we need to get our rings cleaned, I'm on a mission, and I want to get in and out as quickly as possible. Strike fast, strike hard. Shock and awe. But I usually end up behind a lollygagger, who always seems to come to a dead stop right in front of me and look in the window at a freakin' candle or something. Ugh, it makes me want to scream!

That's why I do my Christmas shopping online, or at a local store where the crowds aren't quite so large. And I've learned a lesson from Ken by starting very early, usually back in the summer, so the monetary damage is spread out over a few months rather than one big bomb. I really do enjoy the holidays, although it might not sound that way. It's only the walking-around-the-mall part I have a problem with.

And think about this: an awful lot of zombie movies are set in malls. To me, it comes down to a simple choice. Either avoid the mall at all costs, or go there and get your brain eaten by zombies. Then you can listen to Michael Bolton all day long and it won't bother you.

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