"A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity."
Lazarus Long, a Robert A. Heinlein character
A healthy dose of self-confidence is exactly that: healthy. As a shy person, it took me quite a while to reach that point, and I'll admit to an extreme loathing of public speaking. But on the rare occasion when I have to do it, once I get going, I'm fine.
Sometimes I encounter people who are very unsure of themselves. They second-guess their decisions, and they often feel as if they are doing the wrong thing. Self-confidence is a natural outcome of competency. My feeling is that I will do the best I can, and when I make a decision, it will be an informed one based on my experience and education. If I'm correct, then I've built my confidence. If I'm incorrect, I learn from my mistake and do it right--or at the very least, better--the next time. We have to give ourselves permission to feel confident about things. If we have properly prepared, whether for a test, a job interview, or for life in general, I believe it is a positive thing to enter into it knowing that we know the material, we know our strengths, and we know how to live our life as a decent and kind person.
Insecurities and a constant need for reassurance are never attractive traits. When I was single, it was my experience that most guys found self-confidence an attractive trait. I'm pretty sure Ken found it so, although I won't speak for him. It's something that goes both ways, too. I dated guys that constantly needed attention, and believe me, it was very draining, and eventually, extremely irritating. The above quote states that "jealousy is...a symptom of neurotic insecurity." This certainly applies in our life together, because neither of us is "jealous" of each other's solitude or time alone. We are both content to read our books, work on whatever we're working on, or in Ken's case, play an occasional round of golf on the weekend. I'm quite happy to do my own thing here at home, and I am not jealous of the time he spends on the golf course. Why? Because I'm confident and secure, and have many interests and many things to keep me occupied. (I'll start golfing next summer...I'm sure I won't feel quite so confident about that!)
So please...feel free to let your self-confidence show. I find it much more appealing than the alternative. Seems pretty simple to me.