Saturday, March 15, 2008

Ahh...bitter dregs

Wow, pretty bleak, huh? Yes. Yes, it is, although one's perspective can make a difference in interpretation.

I think the point--at least the way I see it--is that although we all have the potential for such feelings of anger and bitterness inside of us, the true test of character is how we choose to respond to the difficulties that will inevitably befall us during the course of our life. What causes some to forge ahead, leaving past hurts and injuries behind, while others descend into mindless self-pity? Why are some capable of drawing strength and achieving wisdom through adversity, while others wallow in their own misery and seem to rejoice in attempting to drag others down with them? It seems to me to be almost a soap opera mentality, with a wish for constant drama and discord. There are some who feel that life isn't worth living unless there is mischief to be wrought and seeds of discontent to be sown. It's an alien concept to me, and one that I find unpleasant and disturbing.

It may have something to do with upbringing. My parents are children of the Depression, and while they had some very rough times when they were growing up, they are both very upbeat, happy, and optimistic people. I also watched them over the years as they dealt with people, and their honesty, kindness, and friendliness provided a wonderful example of how to behave in dealing with others. In our world, adversity was an opportunity for learning, and for figuring out how to make changes so that we didn't make the same mistakes again...and again...and again.

I'm very grateful to have inherited that attitude from my parents, because it has served me well over the years. While I've been very fortunate in my life, I've had a setback or two. Getting divorced wasn't fun, but I moved on. Other breakups were also not pleasant, but I moved on. I did my best to not carry excess emotional baggage with me, because I think we all know that's not very attractive. (Have you ever gone out with someone who can't stop talking about their ex and how much they hate them? But you still sense a bit of obsession there...isn't it creepy? Check, please!) We all have our issues, but a healthy person will learn to not let those issues loom so large in their life that they obscure the good things. They will understand that dwelling on the past, nurturing the anger and bitterness rather than letting it go, and harboring resentment results in nothing more than their own discontent and misery. Unfortunately, the collateral damage can be profound and longlasting for those around them, although most people eventually end up not wanting to be around this type of person. You can only take so much of that kind of unpleasantry before saying, "Get over it and get a life!"

             

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6 comments:

mpnaz58 said...

The spoof at the end...about the pill...there has to be some accounability on each person's part.  While I don't deny that some people do need meds to "cope", we still have to be accountable for our ourselves, instead of relyint on a pill to make it all better.  For example, a diabetic who takes care of themselves, really, following diet, exercise, etc., may eventually be able to get off meds, not all, but some will.  Instead (speaking of my mom here) they eat anything and everything they want, live a sedentary lifestyle and RELY on the meds to manage the condition.  ARGH!!
xoxo ~Myra

luvrte66 said...

Myra, that final picture is very much a sarcastic addition, believe me! Both Ken and I are firm believers in trying to NOT take medication. However, for some it's a necessary thing, in order to cope with certain disorders. I'm all for medication if it's needed, but no, we try to avoid pills in general, except for vitamins and the occasional Advil.

Take care!
Beth

buckoclown said...

I concur.  Drama Queen mentality results in a being a serf in the end. :o)

naperdilly said...

How unbelievably accurate are your words today.  If you re-read what you've written you'll find uncovered truths that can be healing to even yourself.  (yourself as in collectively).  Bitter, angry people only shed anger on to others.  No need in that......however, what I find even more disturbing is the person who is unwilling to own his own mistakes, and then make it seem like everyone else is at fault.  When you have responsibilities then stay true to them and all becomes well again.  If you fail to own your mistakes, and not make good on them, then the outcome isn't pleasant.  That frame of mind is so self-serving.  It's such a simple concept and one that certain folks just can't lower themselves to accept. This is especially true when the target of the irresponsibility is children.  Whatever makes people tick is their own business, but your entry today is absolutely brilliant.  Kudos Beth~!~  Hope you enjoy your weekend, we will!!

queeniemart said...

i agree with this entry but i have to say this:  (and in no way am i trying to make excuses)     some people did not have decent upbringings and were raised with nothing but terror, instability, addiction issues, abuse, abandonment, etc. Those moments may have followed them into their adulthood and they may have a medical condition called depression. This may make the person SEEM to not be able to move forward to others when in fact, they are fighting daily, tooth and nail, to move on and live their life for today.
HUGS, lisa

luvrte66 said...

Absolutely, Lisa. I was writing about the average, seemingly normal person, who refuses to let things go. Clinical depression is another issue entirely.

Hugs,
Beth