My alarm went off at 5 AM today, I took my shower, got dressed and ready, headed out to work, and when I got there...the building still stood, and there was plenty of work inside. <sigh>
I'll never understand how the time between around 5 PM Friday and 5 AM Monday can go SO FAST. Someone please explain this strange time warp effect.
I was a little dismayed to hear today that a coworker speaks frequently to others about how they can't retire soon, and they don't get to go on vacations, and they don't have a lake cottage (that last one was in reference to another coworker who has one). I've had so many nice comments from people about my coming retirement, usually to the effect of how they'll miss me and my experience, but wish me all the best. Just today, Dr. Kim, our pathologist who is in charge of Micro, chatted a bit with me and said that they hate to lose me, but they all wish me well. It honestly made me more sad than mad to hear that this person was so eaten up with what seems to be envy. (The person who told me this said that it was almost an obsession with the person.)
It's been my experience that if someone truly cares about you, no matter the relationship, they will be genuinely happy for you when you have good news. I think we all know of people that we really don't care for, and then I think it's natural to feel that little shiver of Schadenfreude. But when it comes to people I care about, I don't think I've ever had that feeling, and I've always been quite happy for them. The hard truth is that we all have choices, and just because we make certain choices doesn't mean we should begrudge others their good fortune. Ken and I have been planning this for years, just like we saved for years to go on a cruise with the kids, and we are by no means extravagant in our lifestyle. I've written often here about how rarely we go out to eat--I'm sure that saves us big bucks. [Say we eat out once a week at a moderate restaurant like Friday's. Figure on a $50 tab, if we have a couple of drinks, and then there's the tip. That is $2600 a year.]
So that was kind of a bummer for me to hear. I'm not all morose about it or anything, and it really doesn't make ME feel bad...I'm the one who will be retiring soon, after all. Call me crazy, but I'm kind of excited and happy about that! But it DOES make me feel sad for this person, that they are unable to step outside their own experience and be happy for someone, and I can't imagine that that kind of envy and bitterness is doing them any good, either physically or mentally. It's just not good karma, man.
3 comments:
That is part of the reason I've always maintained an avoidance relationship with people I've heard say: IT MUST BE NICE too often. Sometimes it is NICE, but perhaps you worked for the NICE & made choices & sacrifices that brought it about. Many people act unaware that their behaviors/choices cause & perpetuate their own condition. It is much easier for them to believe you have it easy & they are a victim of circumstance. ~Mary
i am always happy when good happens to those i care for and when something bad or negative happens i always feel their pain.....empathy is something not all are able to FEEL. There are SO many people in life that just are so self centered or consumed with self loathing that they are unable to see beyond that. I try to avoid them. I am tickled for you!!!!!! I can't wait to hear all about your retirement.
hugs, lisa
Mary and Lisa, I agree with you both on the points you made. Mary, I never thought of that phrase "It must be nice" in such a way before, but you're absolutely right--it sort of negates the fact that most good things happen not because of dumb luck, but because of hard work. I don't THINK I say that phrase, and you can be sure that now I never will!
Beth
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