Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Requiescat in Pace

I received some very sad news over the weekend.
It seems that Cousin Shane's long-time companion, a friend who followed him faithfully for many years, has kicked the bucket.
That's right, the Electrolux vacuum he's had since 1978 finally bit the dust. (Get it?)
A few years ago, Shane noticed a few problems, and a brief stint in the repair shop resulted in the words no appliance owner wants to hear: "It's the motor, and it can't be repaired."
Electrolux seemed to snap out of it after that, and continued to work steadfast and true by Shane's side, until about a month ago. Shane said that it started making an awful noise, what he described as a "sick cow mooing," but it still had good suction. This past Thursday, Electrolux finally gave up the ghost and joined the choir invisible.
Shane has a new vacuum now, but I know that there will always be a special place in his heart for Electrolux. I hope you'll all join me in sending Shane condolences and let him know that he is not alone in this time of grief. I will leave you with Shane's tribute:
                                                   Super J Electrolux


RIP, old friend.

Your cord has recoiled for the last time, but you will live on in my heart until the end of time.



indigosunmoon said...  They sure dont make em like they used to.

aimer said...

Bit the dust! LOL, you had to there didn't you? I send my sincere condolences to Cousin Shane. I'm impressed with his rapid recovery and his ability to move on into a new relationship so quickly.

Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust,
In spite of his sorrow,
Vacuum he must.


lsfp1960 said...

Oh no!!  Does that mean that my Kenmore Microwave that I got for Mother's Day in 1977 is next?  It's working fine, right now...boils water in the correct amount of time, the light comes on when it's cooking (light has never had to be replaced) and I'm happy with it. Please tell me that my dear microwave is going to be with me for a long time....
With deepest sympathy, Linda in WA

sybilsybil45 said...

My sincest condolences to cousin wil never be quite the same without his trusty electrolux...RIP  Love sybil xx

wwfbison said...

....bit the dust????  How can you joke at a time like this.  Please send my deepest sympathies.   ;)

gen0507 said...

1978???  WOW!!! I'm so sorry for your loss Shane!!!  May it rest in PEACE!!


makemarc said...

Maybe you should have titled this: "The Last Blow Job"

mpnaz58 said...

LOL...ahem, not that I am laughing at the passing of such a dedicated companion, one who was there through shag, berber, which then gave way to the almighty, rather, to offer my sincere condolences.  I am sure Cousin Shane's new companion could not hold a candle to Electrolux in this lifetime or the next.  RIP
xoxo ~Myra

buckoclown said...

That just SUCKS!

Condolences Shane :o(

eml625 said...

Note to Makemarc (screen name ) I Was going to use that joke !! DARN it.....
Oh well, the last of the great suckers, laid to to suck somwhere in Heaven.

specialadyfink said...

Shane-sorry your loyal although not ROYAL(AHEM) companion has bit it's last dust..
Lordy I remember the sweeper in this graphic..when those runners ran over your feet it felt like they were sliced in two,LOL--we used to sit on it while mom drug us across the floor--oh those were the days,LOL.....
may your new friend chase all the dust bunnies away.............

helmswondermom said...

My heart goes out to Shane.
But at least he (Electrolux) lived a full and long life.

solace223 said...

At first I was thinking omigod, Beth has truly lost all sense of human decency with the "a friend who followed him faithfully for many years, has kicked the bucket" comment.  And then I realized it was a vacuum, not a human or animal companion.  They just don't make things like they used to huh, Shane?  ;)

queeniemart said...

Speaking of blow jobs...tell Shane this TRUE story:

Rick and i went over to his sister house about 15 yrs ago. For some reason we needed to go to her bedroom. She was a messy and lazy house keeper so we saw a vaccuum cleaner in the middle of the floor and had to go around it to get to wherever we were going. As i walked by, i saw the hose part and thought it looked a tad bit strange so i stopped for closer inspection.

the hose part of this elderly vaccuum had a sock bundled around the end of it and a rubber type suction attached to the sock. I can not really describe it. Very unnatural looking. I asked my SIL (who is a moron) what on earth was wrong with the vaccuum. She said "oh that is Steve's vaccum". I said "oh". Then she said "see the end with the sock and the rubber attached to it".  "Yes", i replied. She said "he puts his cock in it and turns the machine on and lets it jack him off and he cums into that sock when i am not enough for him".

i waited a minute or two and with a straight face said "gee, guess he has lots of cum in that sock then, huh". Dumb bitch never did figure out what i was saying.


helmswondermom said...

P.S. to my previous comment:
I meant to add this to my comment but forgot.  I liked your Latin RIP, and it reminded me of something.  My sister Barbara chiseled the following into a stone that sat for many years in front of her front door instead of a "welcome" mat: "Wade in Pace" which means "Go in Peace".  I always thought that was funny.