Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I am...El Coqueto

Before I get to that, I  hope everyone had a good day! I made it through my day at work despite a very stuffy head and a bit of a cough. It still doesn't feel like it's gone down into my chest, so I'm hoping I'll be back at 100% very soon!

Another balmy day here at Nutwood. Our thermometer reads 50° at the moment, but within a couple of hours, the temperature is supposed to drop 20-some degrees. It's been raining today, so that will freeze, and it's supposed to turn to snow later tonight, so we could be looking at some major ugliness tomorrow morning. We'll see what happens, but Ken is always great about taking me to work when it's like this. I don't mind driving in some snow, but the Mustang is pretty low to the ground, and it just won't go if it's about 6 inches deep out there! I ran to the store after work, because there were a few things I wanted to get, but I ended up shopping for the week. With some bad weather coming, I'd rather get it out of the way when I don't have to push a shopping cart through a few inches of slushy snow. Isn't that the worst? With the Super Bowl coming up this Sunday, I got stuff for our dinner of snack food, including different cheeses, peppers, and pickles. I got the fixin's for my baked brie, and I'll put that easy recipe up here this week. It's tasty!

HEY! There was just a flash of lightning! And then thunder! This is nuts.

I haven't heard anything about the Florida primary yet, because I'm sure the voting is still going on. We watched the State of the Union address last night, but I dozed off part way through. It wasn't anything real exciting. Jimmy had a couple of great comments about it on his journal, and the one that amused me most was about Obama and Ted Kennedy holding hands, while Hillary stewed. Regardless of how you feel about any of them, or who you like, that just made me chuckle. Ken and I both commented when we saw Obama sitting by Kennedy, and then we got a laugh when they showed Clinton. WOW, she looked grim. Not a happy woman last night, at least that's how it seemed.

Now to El Coqueto. (For any Bob & Tom listeners out there, I was thinking of El Conquistador.) I don't speak Spanish, so I had to look up El Coqueto: it means The Flirt.

A while back (I'm too lazy at the moment to go find it in the archives) I wrote an entry in response to a journaling prompt, concerning how aspects of your personality have changed over the years, and what you've gained--or lost--in the process. One of the things I wrote was that I used to be a terrible flirt. I said I've learned that to be that way is disrespectful to your partner. I still agree with that...but I read an article in Time today that made me say, "Hey, I'm not as bad as I thought!" The article focused on nonverbal signals. That is key. It seems that we are hard-wired to be flirtatious, no matter our gender. Certain nonverbal actions such as the the tilted head for women, the open body position and leading questions for men, and the raised eyebrows, sustained eye contact, leaning forward, and sidelong glances for both genders are simply part of our nature. It's our way of testing the waters to see if there might be a potential mate there. Even people in committed relationships do it, because they need to ascertain if they are still attractive in case something happens to their mate. I know that sounds cold, but it all takes place subconsciously.

Where you cross the line, if you're in a committed relationship, is if you start sending verbal signals. It's one thing to subconsciously try to engage someone's interest with covert signals, but saying things outright is a message that you are interested in progressing beyond that initial stage.

I found it pretty interesting, and it really did make me feel better about my behavior. Don't get me wrong--any of you who know me or have been reading for a while know that I'm completely happy with Ken. So much so that people have commented to me, "You guys are almost sickening!" (It was said in a nice way.) But for my entire adult life, I have sometimes been accused of being a flirt. Now I know that it's not intentional, it's just inherent in all of us. Who doesn't have the urge to be liked by people? Who doesn't want to be charming and engaging, and make people enjoy being around you?

It's human nature!



buckoclown said...

I do not believe that I have every been accused of being a flirt.  I am almost the opposite, honest and forthcoming to a fault, even when it gets me in trouble.  However, I most likely do sent non-verbal cues, and one thing that has been commented on are my dimples. :o)

lisa41076 said...

Beth, I am too shy to be a flirt, but it is human nature to be liked by others, Hugs Lisa

deshelestraci said...

Yeah, I'm not much of a flirt either.  Too self-conscious.  
We already had the temp drop and the wind is brutal.  I shopped this afternoon so I wouldn't have to go out tomorrow.

queeniemart said...

i have 2 males at my job, both married, who would have an affair with me TODAY if i wanted to. I do not say that to boost, lol, because i look in the mirror and say "are they blind, sick, and desperate?". I have had many people ask me what have I done to MAKE these men act that way. Always MY fault.   I THINK the only thing i have done is listen to them. That is a big deal to men, to just listen. God knows it is not my looks.
It is 10 degrees here and yesterday it rained for 10 hrs straight. INSANE weather! I hope you do not get that snow and that you get to work safely.
HUGS and Love, lisa jo

ukgal36 said...

I get accused of flirting but to me it's just being friendly..i act the exact same way towards women..

rdautumnsage said...

Oh Good Grief....I get guys constantly thinking I'm flirting with them or available, because I'm simply helpful , understanding....

I end up telling guy friends if I ever found any interest in you other than a friend, you would know it, I wouldn't be subtle about it.

I don't even necessarily dress to appeal to the oppisite sex, I do whatever makes me comfortable....unwittingly it seems to be exactly what appeals to them....That's it I'm blaming the boobs! (Hugs) Indigo

luvrte66 said...

Indigo, that hearkens back to the email I got that said, "Tell me about you." Sometimes just listening to a person and letting them know that you are interested in what they have to say can be very charming!