Saturday, July 12, 2008

"Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"

Ken had to be at a meeting at 8 o'clock this morning, so he is understandably taking a nap! While he snoozes, I believe I'll do another entry, with some odd and ends and a little commentary.

Be sure to go by The Wildcat's Lair for the latest installation of Frank's adventures. Looks like Frank is going all Jedi on us!

I wanted to use up the bread I bought the other day for garlic bread, so I decided on Italian Beef sandwiches tonight. I've had the crockpot going all day (on warm summer days, the crockpot can be your best friend), and it's starting to smell yummy. I used a 4-pound chuck roast, and I added a cup of beef broth, a can of beer, a packet of Italian dressing mix, and a packet of onion soup mix. After we slice/shred the beef, I'll top the sandwiches with provolone slices, and we'll have some of the juice for dipping. I'm getting hungry! I suppose it's a little like the Philly cheesesteaks we had last night, come to think of it. Probably a little juicier, though, and I think there's a little more tang to this.

I had such crazy dreams last night. I remember dreaming that we got a Wii, but in my dream I woke up and realized I was dreaming--isn't that freaky?--then thought, "I dreamed we got a Wii...but Wii didn't." I also dreamed that I was trying to get to work, looked at the clock and saw that it was 6:55, and said, "Oh jeez, I'm gonna be late!" Then I realized, "Hey, I don't have to go to work!" and I took off my shorts. (??) That reminds me of the dreams I had after we quit smoking, in which I'd be searching for a cigarette, or lighting one up, and think, "Wait...I don't smoke anymore!" I also had a dream last night where I was walking through our house, although the layout was very different from ours. Things were also decorated differently, and there was a room that was painted a medium blue...there were two chandeliers that were very elaborate, with changing colors and prism effects. They were gorgeous.

Note to self: veggies and dip with a Twix bar chaser, right before bed, are apparently hallucinogens.

I also got an answer from Alissa concerning the "I would do you" discussion that we had a long time ago. I didn't remember it, but I had to laugh when I read her description of it!

"I think you and J. had ended your relationship and we were sitting outside eating lunch. You were upset and talking about what was wrong with you and I was trying to comfort you. You asked me if I was a guy would I want to do you and for some reason it totally cracked us up. It must have been the timing and probably the look on my face because I am sure that no girl had ever asked me that before. As we were cracking up I said yes, if I were a guy I would totally do you. For awhile after that it would come up out of the blue. Someone would say something and it would piss us off and the other would say well, I would still do you. I was surprised you forgot that one but I couldn't remember the [edited] conversation until I asked Scott [her husband] and he cracked up and I totally remembered."

I won't share the conversation I edited out, but it was funny, too! Wow, reading about the "I would do you" conversation reminded me of how low I was feeling at one point. It also reminds me of how fortunate I am to have encountered Ken not too long after that. I think we all get to the point where we wonder what we're doing wrong to not be in a relationship (if that's what we desire). But I also believe that if we take the time to ponder things a bit and work on some of our own issues, we'll get to the point where we're confident enough to move on and realize that we're quite worthy of love, friendship, and respect. As I look back at that time in my life, I find it hard to believe that I ever felt such a lack of confidence. That is SO unlike me! Just goes to show how a breakup can totally kick your ass, but as I've always believed, "The best revenge is living well."


Now for a bit of commentary.

Have you ever known someone who seems to relish making idle threats...but they never quite follow through?

For me, it's the equivalent of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Have these people never read Aesop's fables? The more you cry that you'll do this, the more you say that you'll do that, the more you threaten this, that, and the other...the less likely you are to be believed.

And to be honest, I'm not sure what all those idle threats accomplish. Maybe it feels good to lash out and say, "Oh, yeah? Well...just you wait till I do THIS!" And then nothing happens. Wow...THAT was really scary.

It strikes me as nothing more than all bark and no bite...or a tempest in a teapot. If there are those that feel the need to threaten, my feeling is, "Hey, go ahead. Bring it on. Hit me with your best shot." If you're not willing to do that, then feel free to shut up at any time.

It makes me think of a child throwing a tantrum, the kid believing that they are the center of the universe, and that every decision and every other being in their world revolves around them. As Dr. Phil (as annoying as he is at times) would say, "It ain't about youuuu!"



There comes a time when people need to figure out that there is a whole big world out there, that it doesn't revolve around us as individuals, and that our actions can have an impact far beyond what we could ever begin to realize. Whether the impact is good or bad is our decision--there's that whole free will thing again--and we'd best start thinking about how our actions affect others, whether it's our family, our coworkers, the people we encounter online, or the people we deal with day-to-day. To every action there is a reaction, and never doubt for a moment that your actions DO matter.



buckoclown said...

Ahh, an afternoon nap, "was it good?"

Come on folks, is there such thing as a bad nap!

Personal Responsibiity - your entry only makes me think about a person who has their whole existence wrapped up into one solitary and focused fantasy world.  Every time they lash out, the reality of the real world slaps them in the face :o)

dbdacoba said...

Very true, but I wonder if non-action matters.

chat2missie said...

The last paragraph of your entry is so true!

preciousone25 said...

Hi Beth, Thanks for visiting my journal, and Congrats on being guest editor PICK!!!  I love this entry.. your Italiam Beef Sandwiches sound DELISH!!!! (so does the dinner from the night before... love the Twix bar chaser!!)  Sounds like you've finally found happiness in Ken... I'm still searching, but it was good to have the hope that my confidence will come back one day!!!  Thanks!!


eml625 said...

Yes, some odds and ends indeed !
Not sure what to comment on, so I'll leave off with, save me some of that sandwices  !
Have a great Sunday

frankandmary said...

Did you try the Twix dipped into the veggie dip?  When I used to hang out with my ex-bf's young son he had me try many interesting combos.
I guess making threats & not following thru is better than actually following thru, but I do get the point.  Yes, I've met folks like that & quickly make sure there is distance between me & them.  Because things like that get worse, at the very least in THEIR mind. People who feel personally powerless do this, but at times they do lash out on a promised threat. Friendship with someone like that is like asking the Boston Strangler for a neck rub. ~Mary

rdautumnsage said...

I think I would probably have given you the same look Alissa did with pretty much the same answer. I tend to be quite expressive, Paul (Doc-I'm trying to break the habit of using his band knickname) says one look from me usually says it all.

I've dealt with Cancerous people who tend to think they know it all, and tend to try to shove their idealism down your throat. They get so pushy and single minded it's threatening in more ways than one. Some like to just try to trump you and make you seem smaller in their mind. In the end threats or not...they are small or they wouldn't need the bullying/threatening tactics. These people are generally self serving in being convinced they know what's best for you. (Hugs)Indigo

queeniemart said...

YOU are a total riot. I can imagine you with your funny. People like to tease me and for a dozen years i have said "you just watch your of these days i will get you" and they roll their eyes and say "yeah sure, i have heard that for 10 yrs now". I need to find a cutesy way to get them and then we'll see who is winning. lol           I have insane dreams everyday it seems. Often i will ask "just what did you eat for dinner?!".

helmswondermom said...

Thank you for sharing that with us.  I was hoping you'd find out what that conversation was about.  I had a headache today and took some Motrin, lay down and napped, and Thomas called me from work and woke me up.  He wanted to know who an actor was in a certain movie he and a co-worker had been talking about.  I couldn't remember the guys last name, but I knew his first name was Matthew.  When I went back to sleep my brain told me in my dream that it was Matthew Modine, and then I dreamed that Thomas came home and was mad at me for not remembering the last name.  Weird, huh?  As for your commentary, you are so right.  It's strange, but there have been some other entries made along those same lines by a few journalers lately.  I may have to pick up the thread and write an opinion myself.

tsalagiman1 said...

Hey Beth, now YOU'RE getting "politically incorrect" LOL!  You know that nobody is responsible for their own actions anymore!!  Free will??  What a concept!  LOL  You're so right.  People don't think about or don't care how their actions and decisions will affect others.

Supper sounded very good!  Quite a discovery about the Veggies, dip, & Twix bar chaser!  About as bad as eating pizza late at night!